Natsu Hates it when Zeref is Bored
by Enjali
Summary: Zeref is bored, so he sends harmless curses to his brother, Natsu, along with a note each week. Natsu tries to avoid them, but Zeref gets creative in his placements for his curses to activate.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! If you are reading Master of Death in Fairy Tail, you are probably wondering why I didn't update this week. Well, this is the reason! I needed refreshment, so I'm going to be publishing this crack fic and then updating it on and off when I need something new.**

**As I'm sure you have noticed in the summary, this fanfic is about Natsu getting cursed by Zeref – Natsu doesn't know that Zeref is his bother yet. Each Chapter is a new curse, and Natsu will get them in different ways. If you would like to see a curse and how Natsu gets it, please leave a PM or review about it and I'll put it in the chapters after 10 since that is how many curses I have in mind already with the help of my mom, and I'll say who it was that left the suggestion.**

**I think that's everything for now. Please enjoy the warm up of chapter 1! :D**

* * *

**1  
Pink Kitty**

Zeref is sitting by his bedroom window of his palace in his country of Alvarez bored out of his mind. He is so bored that he is falling asleep with his eyes open and unfocused, staring out into the city below him. He would do paperwork, but that would reduce him to tears with boredom, so he isn't going to bother with that. He would try to invade Fiore, but he didn't feel up to using violence to cure his boredom either.

He sighed; he doesn't know what to do to get rid of this long, agonizing, torturous need for some entertainment. Just as he was about to give up on forming a solution to his problem, a little, pink bird flies by his window. The shade of pink reminded him of his dear, sweet, little brother Natsu. He wonders how he is doing.

Zeref's body froze when a thought struck his mind. The thought allowed him to kill two birds with one death ball. With an evil, impy grin, he got up from his chair by the window and grabbed a little piece of paper and a pen. Once he was done writing his note to his brother, he places a curse on it. It won't harm him, but his reaction will be hilarious when he finds out just what the curse did to him.

With the note in hand, the black wizard disappears from his room.

* * *

"I'll meet you at the guild, Natsu!" Happy's voice was faintly heard from the other side of their home. Natsu grunted a reply, but didn't get up and out of his hammock yet.

The light of the sun moved into an angle that allowed its rays to pierce through the window and into Natsu's eyelids. A groan of annoyance escaped his throat. He grabbed his pillow and placed it over his head to hide away from the sunlight, but a growl soon left through his clenched teeth when the birds outside wouldn't shut up and allow him to get a little more shut eye.

Throwing the pillow off his head, making it land on the floor on the other side of the room, Natsu got up from his hammock in need of a drink to sooth his desert dry throat. He goes into his kitchen and heads straight for the cabinets. Just before he opened the cabinet door for a glass he noticed a note on the fridge. At first he thought it was from Happy, but once he finished reading it he saw that it wasn't.

"When you're done reading this, you'll turn into a cat. –Zeref :3"

Natsu didn't understand what was even happening. Not only did the note say he would turn into a cat once he finished reading it – only to not turn into one – the note itself was from Zeref. Why would an evil wizard like Zeref send him such a weird note?

Natsu shrugs; it's possible that Gray is playing a joke on him, and the note is not from Zeref at all. It doesn't make any sense that he would send him one, but Gray doing it as a joke…yeah, that he can see happening.

He places the note inside his pocket, and looks around in wonderment. 'Where is Happy?' he thought to himself. He thinks a little more on it when his face lights up in remembrance. 'Oh yeah, he said he's going to the guild.'

Natsu returns to what he was planning on doing when he first got to the kitchen. He went back to the cabinet and this time opened it. He grabbed a glass, went to the sink to fill it up with water, and chugged it down before laying the glass on the counter and walking out of the house to head for the guild.

When he was in the forest he was enjoying his little walk to the guild, but once out into town…he became lost. Not lost as in he couldn't find his way, but lost as in trying to figure out what is wrong with the people. They were all staring at him, and even the women he passed by started cooing and saying things like, "Awe!" "He is so cute!" "Look at those little pink ears!" Natsu was very confused.

By the time Natsu saw the guild hall up ahead, he couldn't be happier. He can finally get away from these mystifying people. Maybe they were cursed or something? He would ask his guildmates once he gets there.

Once at the door, Natsu kicked it in with a shout of, "Can anyone tell me what is wrong with everyone in town? They all keep cooing and staring at me! Were they acting like that when any of you were on your way here?" By the time he stopped asking his questions, he noticed that not only was it silent in the hall, but they were also staring at him like the townsfolk.

'Oh no…are they cursed too?' thought Natsu in worry and confusion.

The feeling of bewilderment was soon replaced with rage once all the men started to laugh hysterically and all the girls awing and cooing at him with stars in their eyes.

Natsu is clenching his teeth so hard that if anyone was paying attention they would worry his teeth will break. His shoulders are shaking and his eyes tightly shut all due to his rage. He finally roared out, "Will someone tell me what is so FUNNY?!"

Everyone just started laughing harder because they noticed something that Natsu is clearly not. Behind him was a very fluffy, pink tail. It was flat when he first got there, but thanks to him being angry it fluffed out.

"Hey Natsu, are you having any cravings for fish?" Gray asked with a mocking smirk.

"I can share some of my fish with you, Natsu!" Happy said while holding one of his fish that he got out of his green pack.

Natsu really hates just how confused he is. Are they all cursed, or were they all making fun of him?

"Hey, someone get a ball of yarn!" Gray called out. "I want to see if he'll chase it!"

Natsu was just about to attack Gray for that comment, but Erza came up from behind him. He felt her presence there, so he turned around. She looked at him with pity, which made him even more perplexed and slightly angry. He doesn't think he could take much more of this. If he doesn't get his answer soon, he may just destroy something he will regret doing later.

"Natsu… the reason everyone is staring and laughing at you is because you have cat ears and a tail," said Erza, unable to stop staring at the ears on the top of his head. 'I wonder how soft they are?' she thought mentally with a light blush dusting her cheeks.

Now it was Natsu's turn to stare and then follow it up with a laugh. "Good one, Erza! You almost have me there."

"Actually," Natsu turns to the sound of Lucy's voice. "She isn't joking." The blond mage hands him a mirror for him to look in. He didn't see anything at first, but that was because the top of his head was cut off, so when he tilted the mirror up to see the top of his head, there, mixed in with his pink strains were two little, pink cat ears. He froze in shock and horror, before slowly turning to see behind him. What he saw swinging gently from side to side is a long, pink cat tail.

Natsu stayed silent for a moment, but then roared, "Gray, what did you do?!" Gray stopped laughing in favor of staring at him in anger and confusion.

"What did I do? I didn't do this!" The grin soon returned to Gray's face. "Although... I would love to meet the one who did."

Natsu handed over the note he found earlier to Gray. "Then tell me what this is!" he demanded.

Gray froze in shock at the name of the sender. He quickly grabbed the top of his head to make sure that he didn't become cursed too, but it would seem that it only works for Natsu, because he doesn't feel furry ears there. Everyone quiets down, curious as to what has Gray worried.

Lucy comes up to him and takes the note, only to zero in on the sender's name. "This says it's from Zeref!" she shouted in shock and worry. Everyone in the guild gasped in alarm. Master Makarov jumps over to Lucy to take a look himself. He sees that the hand writing is old fashioned and not from anyone in his guild.

"Hmm…This does look like it could be from Zeref," Makarov said, "but I am unsure."

Mest comes up to look at the note as well. "Yeah, it is from him. Since I once worked in the Magic Council I have seen some of his work sealed away. Most of it was in writing. This matches the hand writing to a T," he said.

Natsu heard this and hissed like a raging cat. **"ZEREF! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! JUST YOU WAIT, I WILL GET REVENGE!"**

* * *

Zeref is laughing so hard his lungs are burning like someone set them on fire. Before he left Natsu house to return to his room, he placed a monitoring spell on him. He didn't want to miss any part of his little brother's reaction to his little curse he placed him under.

This reminded him of the good old times when he played pranks on his brother when they were little. He couldn't remember if Natsu ever got him back, however.

His laughter was heard by Invel and August. They looked onto his room to see what was wrong with him, but when they asked, he couldn't stop long enough to answer. Each breath he was able to get into his painful lungs were rare and deeply cherished. He could not use them for words, only to breathe and laugh some more.

It took ten minutes for him calm down. When he did, he says quietly under his breath, "Good luck, you'll have to get to me first before you can do anything to me, Natsu." Zeref feels like he is forgetting something, but he shrugs it off. He was sure it was nothing important.

* * *

Hours passed by with everyone looking into how to remove the curse off of Natsu, but with no such luck. They gave up at around five PM with Gray saying, "Let's just keep him like this. His face is not as annoying like that." This resulted in a full on brawl.

By the time midnight struck, the curse fell off on its own – much to Natsu's relief. He had refused to leave the guild with the ears and tail, so he waited it out, hoping it would wear off. Once it did, he went home to get his much needed sleep after this long, tiring, humiliating day.

* * *

**This is happening between after the guild got back together and before Alvarez. I couldn't stop writing; I finished this in two days. :)**

**Natsu: Why are you torturing me? D:**

**Enj/Dark: I'm not – I'm just bored. Like Zeref! ;)**

**Zeref: This is going to get good. I can just tell. C:**

**Enj/Dark: Like I said, this is just a warm up. He's going to have to go on missions while under some of the curses. I decided to start with one of the classics. There are a few, but there are some that I haven't seen done before. Not saying it may have been – I just never seen it.**

**Zeref: She'll point the ones that she hasn't seen done before so you – the readers – can see which ones she's talking about.**

**Natsu: I'm going to hate this, aren't I? :(**

**Enj/Dark: Yes you are! ;) Please review! ^-^**


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

**Fishy Tail**

The day after Natsu was cursed with cat ears and tail, everyone in the guild were disappointed - especially the girls. Now it has been a week since the curse, and Natsu believes that he no longer has to worry about anymore of them. He has not received any notes with Zeref's name on it, nor did he get cursed again for the entire week.

'I guess it was a one-time thing for Zeref to curse me. He must have been bored or something,' he thought. Natsu feels like he can breathe again, so he is relaxing on his hammock with a stretch of his arms and legs. 'I guess I better get ready for the day.'

Natsu stands up and gets something to drink before heading to the pond in his back yard to take a quick bath. After he got out of the water, he dried himself off with his fire magic, and then put his clothes back on before making his way to the guild. Before he left the forest he checked his head to make sure nothing had appeared there – he has made this into a sort of habit after he learned he was cured with cat ears and walked around the whole town with them without even realizing it. He didn't have a desire to have a repeat of that day.

He resumes his pace to the guild hall, glade that his head is clear of ears that aren't his own still. Once he got there, everyone was already in a fight with each other. He was disappointed that he wasn't the one to start it off today, but no matter. However, just before he joined his fellow guild members in the brawl, Mira's voice cuts through the loud shouts and the smashing of chairs and tables like butter – to him at least.

"Natsu, come over here real quick!" Natsu wondered what it was Mira wanted, so he heads on over to the bar. Once he is standing in front of the white-haired woman she hands him an envelope. "This was here when I got here. It's for you," Mira told him.

Natsu got a bad feeling all of a sudden, but took the letter anyway, albeit reluctantly. He breaks the seal keeping the envelope closed and pulls the letter out. He lays the envelope down on the bar counter before unfolding the letter to read.

By the time you're done reading this,

Natsu didn't bother finishing the rest of the letter, knowing where it was going and who the sender was. 'This is how I got cursed least time! I'm not falling for the same trick twice!' He burnt the letter into a pile of ashes with an air of satisfaction. He watched as the blackened flacks of the remains of the letter fall to the ground with a smug look. He dusted his hands of the ash, but before anything else could be done, a bucket of salted water landed on his head. A weird sensation fell over him and the result is falling onto the ground with a thump.

* * *

Zeref is sitting up in the rafter of the Fairy Tail guild hall looking down at the brawl he caused. It was so easy. All he had to do was throw a pen at one of the mages closest to the door and that is all it took. The guy accused another member for throwing it and attacked him, which then led to the other crashing into another, and it was the domino effect from there. It was so easy Zeref could cry from laughing so hard.

He was bored with waiting for Natsu to show up and read his letter, hence the brawl TV show down below. He sent that letter late last night so it would arrive this morning for when he got there. Zeref turns his eyes to check on the bucket of water next to him and smirk. Natsu is going to think the letter is cursed, but in reality it's the water inside the wooden bucket that is.

He plans to drop this bucket on Natsu's head when he is done reading his letter. He has a feeling his little brother isn't going to finish it all, believing the paper to be the one cursed. That is why Zeref is here, to show Natsu that not all his letters are going to be cursed, but other things – like the sea water in the bucket.

Oh, his brother just walked in! Zeref couldn't stop to quiet, mischievous chuckle from escaping his throat. The look of disappointment on Natsu's face is funny. 'Guess that means Natsu is the one to start these brawls. He is just like dad,' he thought fondly.

Mirajane called Natsu over and handed him the letter. Zeref took the bucket into his hands and waited. Natsu didn't read for long, if he had to guess Zeref would say that his baby brother stopped at the first comma. Natsu had stopped reading the latter and burned it quickly as to not be cursed by it.

'Oh Natsu…that is not what's going to curse you.' On cue with his thoughts, Zeref dropped the bucket and watched the water touch Natsu's body and the bucket land on his head like a hat. Shortly afterward, Natsu collapses and his legs change shape. 'Hopefully his cat friend won't find him too appetizing.'

* * *

Natsu sat back up after his fall while rubbing his sore head thanks to it hitting the ground on the way down with a wooden bucket in between. His eyes are closed when he noticed an odd feeling on his legs; however, this wasn't the only thing he noticed. The whole guild became quiet. He is surprised that they even noticed his fall.

He opens his eyes, deciding to finally look at his legs to see what was wrong with them. What he saw was – to him – horrifying.

"HAPPY! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" Natsu shouted in terror. The reason for why he shouted this is because his legs aren't legs anymore. No, in their place is a hot pink fish tail.

"Don't worry, Natsu. You look too human still for you to be edible," said Happy reassuringly.

That is when everyone in the guild heard laughter coming from the rafters. Natsu snaps his head up. He knows that whoever is laughing up there is the culprit for the bucket falling on his head. There in the rafters is none other than Zeref the black wizard.

Natsu growls in anger. "Is this your doing?!" he demanded while pointing at his legs.

Zeref looks down to meet Natsu's eyes and say, "What do you think?"

"How did you even curse me this time? I didn't even finish reading that note!"

"Simple… The note said that once _you_ finish reading is when you'll be cursed, not when the note itself is read to its completion." Zeref then pulls out another note from his robes. "Here is a copy of the note you destroyed. I had a feeling you were not going to read it in full and then destroy it, so I made sure you will read it all." He tossed the letter down to Natsu, who was unable to catch it due to his new tail. Lucy was the one to snatch it out of the air and read it out loud for everyone to hear.

By the time you're done reading this, a bucket of sea water will land on you and turn you into a merman. – Zeref

Lucy finished reading the note, and then turns to Natsu. "He's right. There is nothing in this note that says that you had to finish this for the bucket to land on you," she told him.

"Well, now you know that not all my notes are going to be cursed themselves, but there will be a curse close by to them," Zeref said with an innocent smile. "I shall take my leave now. This was fun, Natsu! Hopefully you will continue to bring me entertainment." With that said, Zeref vanished from sight.

"Hey wait! When is this curse going to come off?!" Natsu demanded, but no answer came from Zeref.

"It might be just like last time he cursed you, Natsu," said Lucy.

"How long was that?" Natsu asked.

"Um…" Lucy thought. "I'm not sure… I wasn't there when you got the ears and tail of a cat, but I did notice that they left at midnight. Maybe that is when this will come off too?" she asked unsure.

"BUT THAT IS 12 HOURS FROM NOW!"Natsu exclaimed loudly in dismay.

"Hey, someone get a kiddy pool for him!" Gray called out with a grin on his face.

"You darn ice-brain…! If I didn't have a fish tail right now, I would kick your butt till it melts!" Natsu cried out in anger.

"Sorry Gray, but we don't have a kiddy pool," Max said.

"However, we do have the indoor pool," Cana said with a sly grin.

"I guess I'll help Natsu to the pool then, shall I?" Erza walks up to Natsu, who is growling at his guildmates with teeth showing. Natsu stopped what he was doing when he noticed Erza coming up from behind him. He yelps when he is lifted and carried away towards the pool.

"Hey, put me down!" Natsu demanded, but quickly quieted when he saw the glare Erza gave him. "Uh, you know what, carrying me to the pool is fine," he said nervously.

"Good," Erza said firmly, and then walked through the door to the indoor pool.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I had fun writing it. :)**

**Natsu: A merman? :(**

**Zeref: You should have given him a seashell bra that he couldn't take off.**

**Enj/Dark: I had thought of doing that, but I thought the hot pink fish tail was enough torture for him this early on.**

**Natsu: Wait…does that mean that you are going to do worse the farther we go into this?**

**Enj/Dark: With giving you breaks here and there, yes. There will be chapters where you are going to want to kill Zeref. Don't be so down though… *whispers: The last chapter, maybe 50 or 100, you will be getting revenge on him by pranking him back. I might need help with that though. It has to be the best prank of them all. Better than what is going to be down to you.***

**Natsu: O.O… }:) Oh…you just made my day.**

**Zeref: Whatever you're planning Natsu, I get the feeling it won't happen for a long time.**

**Enj/Dark: ^^' Sadly he's right…**

**Natsu: T^T**

**Zeref: Please review! :3**


	3. Chapter 3

**3  
Girl Power**

Natsu wakes this morning on guard. Zeref waited a week before hitting him with a new curse, and it has been a week exactly since he was turned into a merman. He got out of his hammock only to pause at seeing something in the corner of his eye. At first he thought it was another note from Zeref, but it wasn't. 'Thank goodness,' he thought.

On his nightstand is an armband made out of volcanic rock. Natsu is wary of it as he approaches, but when he picked it up he remembers hearing Lucy say something to Erza about getting him a gift. Now knowing the armband is from Lucy, he puts it on with no hesitation.

Natsu leaves his room and heads for the kitchen in the hopes of some food. On his way there, however, he notices something. "Why does my chest feel weird?" He pauses when he heard the sound of his voice. "Also, why does my voice sound higher?" Natsu is very confused, but he couldn't think much of it since he made it to the kitchen and saw a piece of paper on the table.

Dreadfully, Natsu reaches out for the note. He didn't want to pick it up, but he gets the feeling that it was already too late. So with that in mind, he picks the note up to read.

When you put the armband on, you will turn into a girl. - Zeref  
P.S. That wasn't Lucy talking about giving you a gift to Erza.

Natsu was frozen in place during his time reading the note, but quickly snapped out of it after finishing. "Darn it, Zeref! I can't believe he got me again! ...What does he mean that wasn't Lucy talking to Erza?! Does that mean..."

He makes a beeline to the mirror that he has in his living room to take in the damage. What he saw was just what he was hoping he wouldn't see. Standing in front of his mirror is a girl with long, pink hair like his, slightly bigger and rounder eyes along with a rounder face, big boobs that he is glad are covered, because he doesn't need his fellow guild mates to look at him like they do to the other girls - he always saw it as creepy - and has a slimmer body.

Knowing that it is the armband's fault this happened, Natsu tries to take it off, only it doesn't move. She tries again, but nothing happens. With a sigh, Natsu stops trying, knowing that it will come off after midnight. 'I hope so at least.'

Wait...did he - she - think about going to the guild looking like this a little bit ago? There are not enough Jewels in the world that is going to force him - her - out of the house today. With that decision made, Natsu is staying indoors with no intention of leaving. He - she - is going to hang and pig out, maybe even sleep for most of the day or go for a walk around the woods, but never is she going to the guild today, and especially NOT on a job request!

* * *

"Hey, has anyone seen Natsu?" asked Lucy looking around the strangely quiet guild hall.

"Last I saw him he was asleep at home," said Happy.

"Flame brain is going to make us go out there to get him? Argh, he probably forgot we have a job to do today," said Gray annoyed.

"Wait, maybe something happened to him," said Wendy softly in concern.

"She's right! It has been a week since the last curse. What if Zeref cursed him again?" asked Lucy worriedly.

The rest of Team Natsu turns to look at each other with realization and worry. That is a good possibility; they should go and check on him. If Natsu is fine, Gray plans to kill him, if not they'll go on without him, but if the curse is workable, then he is going with them whether he likes it or not.

* * *

Natsu is wondering what to do to pass the time now. He - she - left for a walk, but was almost spotted by someone, so left to go back to the house. She is starting to get hungry again. She did have food before going on that walk, but now she is feeling the need to eat again. With this in mind, Natsu goes into the kitchen to make something to eat. She finds some of Happy's fish in the cooler. She grabs the biggest of them and brings it outside.

Just as Natsu was going to cook the fish she heard voices heading in her direction. She listens closely to make out who they are, only to panic after realizing that the voices belong to her friends. She tries to make a run for it back into the house with the plan to lock it behind her, but just as she reached the door Gray calls out, "Hey flame brain, where do you think you're going?"

Natsu froze like Gray cast a spell on her feet. It ended quickly, but turning to face them goes a lot slower. Slowly, so slowly that a snail could beat her in a race, Natsu turns to see Lucy, Gray, Erza, Wendy, Happy, and Carla all standing right behind her. Her friends are looking at her with widen eyes, the only sign of their shock. Do they know it is her, or do they think she is someone else? She really hopes it the latter.

"Oh, sorry," said Erza. "We thought you were a friend of ours. He has hair kind of like yours, but shorter. Have you seen him?"

"Also, why are you at his house?" Gray asked.

Natsu couldn't believe his - her - luck. They think he's - she's - someone else. Maybe she can use this to her advantage.

"Are you Natsu's sister?" Lucy asked.

Just as Natsu was about to say yes to Lucy's question, Happy had to crush her hopes. "Natsu doesn't have a sister. He was raised by a dragon, remember, and besides, she smells exactly like Natsu; like 100%!"

"Happy is right, she smells too much like Natsu to not be him," Carla said.

"Oh! Maybe this is the new curse Zeref put on him?" Wendy questioned.

Natsu hangs her head down in embarrassment, confirming Wendy's suspicion. Gray begins to laugh hard to the point he falls down on the ground and rolling in Natsu's front yard while holding his sides.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NATSU'S BEEN TURNED INTO A GIRL! OH THIS IS PERFECT FOR THE JOB WE'RE GOING ON!" said Gray in between laughs.

Natsu is worried now. He forgot that they were supposed to go on a job today, something about stopping slave traders. Why is Lucy looking relieved? The slave traders are after girls.

Erza sighed, "Well, being turned into a girl or not, Natsu, you're coming with us on this job. You can still use your powers, right?"

"I...can...but can I have something to eat first? I only had a few grapes this morning, so I really should eat something before going..." Natsu turns to go back to the fish to cook up and eat, which she will then run away with so she can avoid going on the job with them. He - she - doesn't want to be seen like this.

Before she got two feet away from the front door, Gray grabs her by the scarf and starts to drag her toward the direction of Magnolia. "You think I'm going to risk you running off while we have a job to do? I don't think so. Besides, I'm not missing this hilarity."

'What is that supposed to mean?' Natsu thought in concern and fear.

* * *

Natsu couldn't believe her luck. She thought that they were going to use Lucy to be the bait, but _nooooo_. They use him - _HER_ \- instead! How could her teammates do this to her? Some friends they are.

"Psst, Natsu..." Natsu turns at the sound of Lucy's whisper to see what she wants. Behind a bush, she can see an evil grin on the blond-haired mage's face. "How does it feel being used as bait to lure in disgusting pigs? Not a good feeling is it?"

Natsu glares and hisses back, "How can you all do this to me? I hadn't done anything to you."

Lucy gives him an odd look. "You do this to me all the time. Don't you remember Duke Everlue?" Natsu stares at her with a confused look. She thinks about it for a moment, but it doesn't ring any bells.

"You sure about that? I don't remember."

"I got Virgo after that job. Remember how she was once a giant, ugly ape when she was employed to the guy?"

"Virgo...was a monkey?" Natsu's head is tilted to the side with a question mark flouting above her head.

Lucy sighs in defeat. "Never mind, forget it. Oh wait...you already did a long time ago it seems." After that, Lucy went back behind the bush.

Natsu didn't know what to think about after what just happened, but decided to no longer think about it. There is a good detraction though. She can smell something familiar, but can't tell where it is coming from or who it is. She gets the feeling that it is not one of the slave traders. Maybe someone is stalking her? She hopes not! Maybe it is... What is that sound?

Natsu turns to the source of the noise. There is rustling coming from the bushes across from her friends' hiding spot. Natsu waits for them to come out, and when they do, she counts about ten men - some of them holding rope.

This just makes Natsu remember that he - she - is_ furious_. With a vein throbbing in her head, Natsu explodes with fire going in all directions. Kind of like how Zeref's death wave looks. She didn't notice it, but Gray and Erza had to put up shields to protect themselves and the others from her fire blast. After the smoke cleared out, she was able to see the shields as well as the slave traders charred and out for the count on the burnt, black ground.

Natsu wipes her hands together for a job well done, and turns to leave to go home, but there is movement in a tree somewhere to her left now. She turns to look. There, up in the tree is the one mage she wants to beat the heck out of right now. "ZEREF!" Zeref looks down in horror before teleporting out of there. Natsu roars in rage. Once she is done she stomps away from the scene, allowing the rest of her teammates to handle the slave traders while she walks to the train to wait for them.

* * *

~Right after Natsu destroyed the slave traders~

Zeref is trying so hard not to laugh at seeing his brother - or should he say sister? - act like such a girl on her period. **(AN: I'm a girl, so I know what it is like. I want to blow stuff up and tear things to shreds when that time of the month rolls around.) **That thought alone made him want to laugh harder. He is covering his mouth to prevent a sound from escaping. If Natsu hears him and finds him up here in this tree he is going to have to get out of there before anyone could say spriggan. He didn't notice that in his attempt to stay quiet he shifted in the tree, making the leaves brush up against each other, which made enough noise to have Natsu look up.

"ZEREF!" Zeref freezes in place, and then look down in fear to see a fire dragon slayer looking up at him in rage - he can even see smoke coming out of her ears, nose, and mouth. Before anything else could be side, Zeref teleports out of there.

Now back in his palace, away from his scary sister, Zeref goes to see how his Spriggan 12 are doing.

* * *

~At the train station~

"Wow Natsu, people say girls are hot headed, but you took it to a whole new level," said Gray, who is snickering at his own joke, but it didn't last long. Natsu, Lucy, and Erza punch him in the face, on top of the head, and send a kick to his gut, all in that order.

* * *

**There is your _Natsu is turned into a girl_ chapter. It wouldn't be a crack fanfic without one. Also, I sent him on a job this time. YAY! XD**

**Natsu: o.0**

**Zeref: Is he okay? :(**

**Enj/Dark: He'll be fine. He is just mortified right now.**

**Natsu: You turned me into a...girl...**

**Zeref: I know and it was funny. You should have seen your face! X'D**

**Natsu: Zeref! DX It is not funny! Just you wait, I WILL get you back for this! It will be the mother of all pranks.**

**Enj/Dark: That's a tallllll order. O_O Thank God I still have 97 or 47 chapter left to go before then.**

**Zeref: Wait what? O.O**

**Enj/Dark: Well, I have to make sure the prank on you is funnier than anything we're doing to Natsu. Didn't I tell you this before? Like the last chapter?**

**Natsu: I think so.**

**Zeref: I think you told _him_ that in whisper. You didn't tell _me_ anything. :(**

**Enj/Dark: Oh yeah! Now I remember! ^-^ By the way Natsu, it is your turn.**

**Natsu: Please review! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is probably going to be the last one for a bit of time, since I'll be working on 2 fanfictions from here on out until one of them is done. When this crack fic is updated again, just know that it is because I'm about to blow my head off and need something to laugh at. Like this chapter right here. Let's have some fun with this! ;)**

* * *

**4**

**The Early Mouse Gets the Cheese**

Zeref was peeking into Natsu's house through his window, just to make sure no one was awake. When he saw no one he quietly opened the window farther. 'Good thing I opened it a crack earlier while Natsu was out,' thought Natsu's older brother with an evil grin on his face and softly chuckling to himself with shadows covering his eyes with only a red shine in one of them.

He crawled through the open window and made his way over to the fridge. Once in front of the cooling device, Zeref opened it and looked in to find the right product he was looking for. 'There it is!' He grabbed the cheese from the fridge while cackling to himself quietly. 'Now to curse it!'

He placed his curse onto the cheese, and then laid it back where he got it from. With one more chuckle, he closed the door of the fridge with a soft thud. After that, he made his way to the front door. He pulled out a slip of paper and tape from his toga, and then stamped them onto the door for his little brother to find later when it was already too late.

Once checking to make sure the paper was secured, he headed back to the window he came in from. He slipped through the gap again and closed the window fully this time before walking away from the house. 'Good thing I know he eats ham and cheese sandwiches on days he's supposed to go on a mission the moment he wakes up.' With that last thought, Zeref teleported back to his palace for some sleep.

* * *

Natsu walked into the kitchen so he could get a quick bite to eat before meeting up with his friends at the train station. He had to make something small, or else he would be under threat of coughing it back up later.

He strode over to his fridge and took out the ham and cheese from within, and then grabbed the bread. He made his sandwich and quickly ate it while making his way to his shower. He had a hard time removing all of the dirt and dried up sweat that formed in his sleep, but he managed. After he was finished with his shower, he put his clothes on and headed for the door.

Just as he was about to twist the handle he spotted a note taped onto his front door. His body and mind froze. He didn't want to read it, but he had a feeling that he was already cursed by Zeref... again...

He grabbed the note off the door and read it. It said:

Within the hour of eating the cheese, you'll turn into a mouse. -Zeref

Natsu was right; he was too late, but by how much? He quickly looked to his clock to see the time, and much to his horror, he only had ten minutes left before he turned. 'I have to get to the guild, NOW!' He swung the door open as fast as he could and ran straight for the Fairy Tail guild hall.

* * *

Nine minutes, it took Natsu nine minutes to get to the guildhall. 'That is a new record,' he thought, 'but now I have only one minute to explain everything!' Natsu slammed the doors open when he entered the guild, making everyone jump since they thought Natsu would be with his other teammates and not here.

"Gramps! I don't have much time! ZererfcursedthecheeseandnowI'mgoingtoturnintoamouse!" he said, but not everyone was able to keep up with his fast pace of speech, so some of them mumbled, "What?"

Not even ten seconds after Natsu said what he said, a pink cloud surrounded him in a great, big POOF! Everyone watched to see what was happening to Natsu this time. When the smoked cleared, they didn't see anything for a moment. They were wondering if he became invisible or if he was teleported to some uncharted island, but then they got their answer from the sound of a squeak. They all turned their gaze down to the floor where they heard the tiny noise, and there on the wooden ground is a small, pink-furred mouse with Natsu's scarf shrunken down to fit.

There was silence within the guildhall. It became so quiet that the people outside were worried about the members of the guild because they have never heard the building so quiet before, not even when a lot of their most powerful went missing for seven years.

The silence was finally broken with everyone shouting, "NATSU!" They tried to make a grab for him, which made Natsu's prey instinct kick in and make a run for it toward safety. Wherever that was. He tried to get behind the bar, but Makarov was there, and he managed to grab the small, pink mouse from the ground and hold him close.

"You brats! Knock that off!" All members of Fairy Tail froze. "You all scared Natsu half to death acting like wild beasts. Not only that, but you also almost crushed him. So until the curse wears off, I'll be holding onto him. Is that understood?" Everyone nodded their heads. "Good."

* * *

A half-hour went by since Natsu turned into a rodent, and it was at this time that his team decided to check up on him.

"Master, have you seen flame brain?" Gray asked.

"Yeah, I have him here," said Makarov, confusing Team Fairy Zeal.

They walked over to see what their Master was talking about, only to see a small, pink mouse in his hands. Lucy screamed in dismay, Gray laughed, already knowing who the mouse was, Erza was confused as to why the master was scratching a mouse on the head, but also thought it was cute, the same thought was going through Wendy, and Happy was just staring at it like he didn't know what to do with it. Whatever the look was all about, Natsu's instincts were telling him, 'RUN! IT'S A CAT!'

"Are you telling us that Zeref cursed Natsu again, and this is the result of it?" Carla asked.

Makarov grinned, "Yup! Natsu came charging in here like a kelpie was after him. He only had one minute to tell us what happened, which was that Zeref cursed his cheese. After an hour went by after eating it, he turned into this," he explained. He also held up the note that Natsu didn't realize he brought to the guild with him.

Gray snorted a laugh. "Zeref should have given it a longer time limit. That way he would have turned while on the mission."

"That's not nice, Gray! We might have not noticed then, and then Natsu would have been forced to run all the way back to the guild on his own as a mouse. That would mean that cats and birds would be trying to eat him the whole time!" said Lucy.

Gray turned to her with a look. "...I find it even funnier that you would think we would have left him behind without even bothering to look for him."

"Wha- That's not what I meant! Of course we would have searched for him! I'm just saying that if we couldn't find him, I'm sure he would have found his way to the guild on his own and would have been able to take care of himself. It's not like we would have known he would turn into a mouse!"

"That is enough, you two!" Erza said firmly. "Natsu will stay here, while we go on the mission. Is that alright with you, Master?"

"Yes, it is perfectly fine!" Makarov said cheerfully. They all turned and left the guild again, making Natsu breathe a sigh of relief now that Happy was gone which made his prey instinct to shut up.

'Maybe I should stay with gramps until the curse wears off. It is much safer this way,' Natsu decided.

* * *

Team Zeal had returned from their mission a few hours ago, and now it was close to midnight, much to Natsu's joy. Everyone was going home, but some stayed, like Gray and Erza. Gray stayed because he wanted to see Natsu turn back so he can pick on him a little more. Erza was there to make sure that Natsu turned back at all. Mira was closing up the bar, and Makarov still had a hold on Natsu; although, in a few seconds he was going to put Natsu on a stool so he can transform on that and not on him. Elfman was still at the guild too, because he wanted to make sure his older sister got home safely.

Happy had gone home with Lucy, not wanted to stay at Natsu's place in fear of getting cursed himself. He started staying with either her or Wendy on the third time Natsu was cursed. Natsu, himself, wanted to stay with Lucy, but he didn't want to get her caught up in Zeref's game.

It was a good thing too, because when Makarov put him on the stool with only five minutes left for the curse to wear off, Zeref came into the building, shocking everyone who was still there. He had a box in his hands, which made Natsu very nervous for some reason. What was that smell coming from the box?

Zeref grinned evilly and opened the box. Out came ten cats. Natsu's mousy instincts kicked in on overdrive, taking Natsu's logical brain to the backseat. He ran, darting as fast as his little, tiny legs could carry him. The ten cats saw him and gave chase.

While Natsu was running for his life, Makarov, Gray, Erza, Mira, and Elfman tried to save him by jumping for the cats. They kept missing them by a hair. It did help a little though. Since the cats had to dodge the humans, they lost course with their prey.

Natsu kept weaving and dodging the cats for five minutes, all the while Zeref was laughing. The black wizard was rolling on the ground while kicking his legs up in the air, with tears streaming down his face. When Five minutes were up, Natsu was covered by the same pink smoke from earlier. When it cleared, it revealed Natsu had returned to his human form. The cats stopped dead in the tracks, and so did his friends. It became silent in the guild hall again. The only noise to be heard was Zeref gasping for breath.

Natsu grinned happily and gave the ten cats the stink-eye. "HA! Take that, you darn fur-balls!" he said excitedly. The cats, themselves, hadn't moved an inch since Natsu transformed back, making everyone wonder why. Natsu poked one of the cats and it fall over, not losing its position, with a thud. It sounded like wood. Natsu then picked the same cat up, worried it was dead, only to find out that the cat was nothing more than a wood-carving that Zeref animated.

They heard a gasp of breath from the dark mage by the door of the guild, and they turned to look at him. He was standing back up while catching his breath, and once he recovered, he said, "These are supposed to be harmless pranks. You really thought I was going to allow Natsu to be eaten by real cats? These wood-carvings can't really harm him." He chuckled a few more times, which only served to make Natsu angry with him.

The fire dragon slayer got up from the ground and charged at him. He attempted to tackle the black-haired, young-looking man, but instead of hitting him, Natsu went through him. "ACK!" Natsu grunted when he landed on the hard floor. As he was getting back up, he heard Erza say something about projections. 'Makes sense that Zeref wouldn't be here in person. He knew I would beat him up for that scare, as well as for the other times he cursed me,' thought Natsu.

"Well, this has been fun, but I must be going now. LATER!" With that said, Zeref vanished.

Natsu's growl was the only thing heard in the hall. Makarov, Mira, Erza, Elfman, and Gray turned to look at their friend and backed away when they saw the wild look in his eyes. "Zeref, I swear that when I get my hands on you, you will regret ever feeling bored and deciding to use ME to relieve yourself. I _will_ get you back for this," said the angry demon in the form of a dragon slayer.

"Soooo...can I keep the cat carvings?" asked Erza, making everyone sweat-drop.

* * *

**I know some of you are probably wondering how Zeref got those cats in the guild if he wasn't really there. The answer is simple. He was really there, but he replaced himself with a projection shortly afterward. No one was really paying any attention to him so it was easy for him to switch. :)**

**Natsu: At first, I thought you were going to sic real cats on me.**

**Enj/Dark: I'm not _that _evil. I only get that bad to bad guys. ;P**

**Zeref: Does that mean you would do something like that to me?**

**Enj/Dark: I don't really see you as a bad guy. :/ You are more in the gray.**

**Natsu: Acnologia is a real bad guy. Can you get him at some point?**

**Zeref: *whisper: Maybe you should turn Natsu into a mini-Acnologia, but only in looks.***

**Enj/Dark: *whisper: Like a baby?***

**Zeref: *nods and whispers: But really tiny. Like the size of a baby bearded dragon.***

**Enj/Dark: Hmm, what do you guys, the readers, think? And if any of you have any ideas for a prank, please let me know.**

**Natsu: What are you planning? :(**

**Enj/Dark: Don't worry about it too much. ^-^**

**Natsu: Now I'm worried.**

**Zeref: Please review! :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**It has been a while since this story was updated. I needed a break from my other fanfics and write something funny. Hopefully, this will get me back up and running for next week, because I plan on taking a break from writing as a whole the week after.**

**Without further ado, let's get on with the chapter! :)**

* * *

**5  
****Spiky Human**

Natsu was eating like a pig in the guildhall. It was the first time in the past three weeks that he hasn't woken up to something cursing him in his house. He thought maybe Zeref decided that he needed a break, but then this happened:

"I have a delivery for a Natsu Dragneel," said a mailman, who was holding a small box in his arms.

Natsu looks up with his cheeks puffed out full of food. "Wef(Yes)?" said Natsu before he swallowed his food.

The mailman walked over to Natsu and laid the box down on top of the bar counter where the dragon slayer was sitting. After that, the man handed Natsu a clipboard. "I need you to sign this, and then I'll be on my way."

Natsu grabbed the pen and scribbled his name on the line with a look of confusion on his face. He didn't remember ordering a package. After he was done signing, the mailman left him and the package behind.

Natsu's team and the rest of the guild walked up and surrounded Natsu. "What's inside, flame breath?" Gray asked while staring at the box with a wary look.

"I don't know, ice queen, why don't you open it?" Natsu growled back, irritated at the nickname, but also not trusting of what could be inside.

"Not happening. It is around that time for you to be cursed again," said Gray with a small grin. He may have hated Zeref, but he found his pranks on Natsu funny.

Natsu glared at his icy friend but decided to not say anything in return in favor of sniffing at the box. Besides the smell of cardboard and seeing small holes in it, Natsu smelt a lizard inside. He guessed it was safe to open, so he lifted the lid. Inside the box was indeed a lizard, a horned lizard to be exact.

'Why would someone send a lizard to me?' Natsu questioningly thought. He carefully picked up the animal to take a better look at it. Its whole body was covered in spikes. They weren't sharp like he thought they were.

He looked back in the box to see a small folded piece of paper. Now he had a bad feeling. Before he could grab the paper and read it, he heard gasps from behind him. He turns around to see what was wrong, only to see that they were staring at him.

'Okay, now I'm worried,' thought Natsu as he quickly turned around again to pick up the note and read it.

When you touch the lizard, you'll grow horns all over your body. –Zeref :)

After Natsu finished reading the note he looked down at his body. All over his chest, shoulders, stomach, and back, he could see spikes and horns growing. He can even see them still growing like weeds on his arms and legs. He reaches up for his neck to feel if there were spikes there too – there were – and there were some on his head too.

"Why is this happening to me…?" Natsu said softly and with a whine.

"Well, it can't be helped," Erza sighed, making Natsu turned to her with a raised, spiky eyebrow. "We still have a job to do, and just because you're covered in spikes doesn't mean you're getting out of this, Natsu."

"Our job has something to do with a stolen horned lizard, doesn't it? Do you think that this is the one the zoo is looking for?" asked Lucy.

"It's possible. After all, Zeref was the one who sent flame head the lizard," said Gray, who then grinned a second later. "Oh, sorry, I meant horn head."

"Then let's bring it back," said Erza. "Natsu, you're carrying it."

Natsu sighed but picked the lizard up anyway. He knows they don't want to touch it in case the curse is still active. Once he had the lizard firmly in hand, he and his team leave the guild to go to the zoo.

* * *

It took the team a while to get to the zoo, but when they got there they got the news from the owner that they have the wrong lizard.

"What do you mean it's the wrong lizard?!" Natsu cried out in disbelief.

"I mean that the lizard you brought me is male. The one that was stolen was female," said the owner, with a small glare thrown at Natsu for his outburst.

Erza sighed, "Well you heard the man. Natsu, give the owner the lizard we have. We'll go and look for the female afterward."

It was Natsu's turn to sigh. He gave the zoo owner the horned lizard Zeref sent him, and then he and his team go looking for the missing female.

"Where are we going to find a stolen female lizard?" asked Lucy.

Erza thought for a moment and then an idea popped into her head. "We could check the security footage and see who stole it," she said.

"But wouldn't the owner have told us that?" asked Gray, thinking that the owner would have checked the footage himself and then show them a picture of the culprit when they got there.

"Maybe it isn't stolen?" suggested Natsu. "Huh?" He paused in his walking when he felt something on his leg. Everyone else noticed him stopping so turned back to look at him. Natsu looked down to see what touched him, only to see a different horned lizard. "Where did you come from?" Natsu asked the lizard.

Lucy went to grab the lizard, but when she got close the lizard snapped at her and started growling. Lucy had to pull back or else she wouldn't have been bitten. "That was close," she said.

"Natsu, it seems that this horned lizard has taken a liking to you. Pick it up and we'll see if this is the one we were meant to find," said Erza.

"What if it isn't?" asked Gray.

"Then we'll look at the videos."

Natsu sighed again and picked up the lizard. It was hard to bend down with all the spikes all over his body, because he didn't want to poke himself. He was able to grab the lizard, which was making some strange noise, but Natsu decided to ignore it.

Natsu, Gray, Lucy, and Erza go back to the owner to see if they had found the right lizard.

"That was fast," said the owner. "Did you find anything?"

"We're not sure if this is the right one or not, so we thought you would know and brought it here," said Erza.

The owner took the lizard from Natsu's hand, or at least tried to. The horned lizard tried to bite him too. The owner gained a thoughtful expression. "Hmm…"

"Is there something wrong?" asked Lucy.

"No, this is the right one," said the owner. "You see when this one goes into heat it gets a little snappy with everyone except for its potential mate. It must have to do with your friend here being cursed for touching that male horned lizard you told me about, which gave him some of the male characteristics. This little girl here must think your spiky friend is her possible mate."

Natsu's eyes widened in horror. 'This had to be planned!' There was no way Zeref didn't come up with this. It was too perfect. A lizard got 'stolen' and was in heat, while Natsu got cursed by a male lizard of the same breed. "Do you have a…picture of the one who stole the female lizard?" asked Natsu.

"Huh? Oh yeah, give me a second to get it. I guess I should have given this to you in the first place," said the owner as he bent down to his desk drawer and pulled out a picture. "Here you go, it was him."

Natsu took the photo and looked to see who it was that took the lizard. What he saw didn't surprise him, but he was no less horrified. In the picture was exactly who Natsu thought it would be. It was Zeref. He took the female lizard and let it wander the zoo while he gave Natsu a cursed male.

Natsu let his hand drop, and then he took in a deep breath. "ZEREF!" he shouted as loud as he could. "When I find you I'm going to put you in a bright pink, frilly dress! It was bad enough you turned me into a girl that one time, but now you confused this poor lizard into thinking I could be her mate! I may have been raised by a dragon but that does NOT mean I'm looking for a lizard to be my girlfriend!"

Gray grinned at that. "Does that mean even he thinks you need a girl? You're how old and you have never had a girlfriend?"

"What about you, Gray? I've never seen you date either!" said Natsu.

"Yes, I have. I asked Juvia out a week and a half ago. Don't you remember? She was all excited she turned into a puddle," said Gray. "Even Erza and Lucy have dated, what's your excuse?"

"Well… um…" Natsu didn't have an answer to that one. He had never really thought about dating before. He saw everyone in the guild as family. Makarov was like the grandfather, Gildarts was the father figure, and the rest of the guild were like brothers and sisters to Natsu. "I just hadn't found the right one, I guess. I'm waiting for when I feel a click. Dragons only mate once, so I'm waiting for the right one for me before going on a date," said Natsu after thinking for a few silent moments.

"Sure…whatever helps you sleep at night," said Gray teasingly, earning him a glare from the dragon slayer.

"That's enough, you two," said Erza. "Natsu put the lizard on the desk so we can leave."

Natsu placed the lizard on the desk, but she grabbed hold of him and wouldn't let go. "Let go…" Natsu whined. He just wished that this day would end already.

"Hmm… I have an idea," the owner said as he grabbed the lizard Natsu's team brought with them earlier. The man placed the male horned lizard on the desk, which caught the female's attention. She must have realized that this male looked a lot more like her, and so let go of Natsu and went over to the other of her kind.

"Thank you," Natsu said in relief.

"Here is your reward," said the owner as he handed out a bag of money.

Erza took the money. "Thank you, I hope everything goes well for you and those two," she said while pointing at the two new lovebirds.

With that, Natsu leaves the zoo with the rest of his team. He planned on going back to the guild to eat and then head on home.

* * *

Zeref was up in a tree on the zoo grounds. He heard what Natsu threatened him with, but he couldn't help but laugh about it. He does not believe Natsu would be able to succeed when Zeref would be safe in his palace. He would like to see him try though.

'He does need someone who will make him happy. However, if he does, she is going to have to pass my Big Brother Test. If she does, she'll have my blessing,' thought Zeref.

Zeref looked down at the camera he brought with him to record Natsu's day as a spiky human. He thought that maybe he should do this for the rest of the time and make it into a movie. He was sure he would get rich off of it. Sadly he might miss a few of his curses, like he already did. Luckily he did record the other times too already.

With an evil smirk and that plan in mind, Zeref left to return home.

* * *

**The idea of Zeref recording Natsu and making them into a movie makes me want to animate it. I'm not really good at drawing people though…So I would have to make it simple. When I get a new computer, I'll try animating the first chapter and see how it goes.**

**Natsu: You're planning what now?! D=**

**Enj/Dark: What? I think it would be funny.**

**Zeref: Same here. :)**

**Natsu: This is torture, you know that?**

**Zeref: Not really. They are harmless pranks. Torture is if you are in pain, be it physical or emotional.**

**Enj/Dark: Not only that, but I'm sure a lot of people would like to see something like this animated. Warning though, I'm still a beginner. It won't be that smooth, but I will try my best.**

**Natsu: *sigh* Please review… **


End file.
